Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride,
To show to all the villagers her bare and lily-white hide.
The most observant villager, an Engineer of course,
Was the only one to notice that Godiva rode a horse.
Said she, "I've come a long, long way and I will go as far,
With the man who takes me from this horse and leads me to a bar."
The men who took her from her steed and stood her to a beer,
Were a blurry-eyed surveyor and a drunken Engineer.
Godiva was a lady well endowed there was no doubt,
She never wore a stitch of clothes, just wound her hair about.
The first man ever made her was an Engineer, of course,
But on just one beer, an artsie queer once made Godiva's horse.
An artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can,
Said the artsman, "Match me drink for drink, let's see if you're a man."
They drank three drinks, the artsman fell, his face was turning green,
But the Engineer drank on and said, "It's only gasoline!"
My father was a miner in the Northern Malamute,
My mother was a mistress in a house of ill repute.
The last time that I saw them both these words rang in my ears,
"Get out of here, you son of a bitch, and join the Engineers!"
I happened once upon a girl who's eyes were full of fire,
Her physical endowments would have made your hands perspire.
To my surprise she told me that she had never been kissed,
Her boyfriend was a tired Engineering Scientist.
The army and the navy boys went out to have some fun,
Down to the local tavern where the fiery liquors run.
But all they found were empties, for the Engineers had come,
And traded all their instruments for gallon kegs of rum.
Sir Francis Drake and all his men set out for Calais Bay,
They'd heard the Spanish rum fleet was headed out that way.
But the Engineers had beat them by a night and half a day,
And though as tight as virgins, you still could hear them say...
On reading Kama Sutra, a guy learned position mime,
For proving masculinity, it truly was divine.
But then one day the girl rebelled and threw him on his rear,
For he was a feeble artsie and she was an Engineer.
Caesar set out for Egypt at the age of fifty-three,
But Cleopatra's blood was warm her heart was young and free.
And every night when Julius said goodnight at three o'clock,
A Roman Engineer was waiting just around the block.
Venus is a statue made entirely of stone,
There's not a fig leaf on her, she's naked as a bone.
On noticing her arms were gone, an Engineer discoursed,
"The damn thing's busted concrete and it should be re-inforced."
An Engineer once staggered in through the Roderick Gate,
He was carrying a load you would expect to ship by freight.
The only things that kept him upright and on his course,
Were the boundary conditions and the Coriolis Force.
A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in the park,
The Engineer was busy doing research in the dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe,
While his right hand wrote the figures down, his left hand traced the curves.
My father peddles opium, my mother's on the dole,
my sister used to walk the street, but now she's on parole.
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear,
But I'm the blacksheep of the family, 'cause I'm an Engineer.
Author Unknown